There are so many pesky chores we have to do in the bathroom! Fortunately, in the future, all that will be taken care of for us by the power of technology! Here are some of the features we expect to see in the coming decades.

First, the most important part of the new system. The Occupant Recognition System. The bathroom of the future will be all about automation and personalization. Thus, feature #1 will be an automatic recognition of the person who is entering so that all of their settings can be retrieved. Once you have this, all the other features flow naturally.

Automatic tooth brushing system - Instead of wasting all that time taking your brush out of the cabinet, picking up the toothpaste, putting it on the brush, and then exerting yourself to rub it against your teeth, the automatic tooth brusher will take care of everything for you! Just stand in front of it, and - using your favorite toothpaste flavor that is retrieved using the Occupant Recognition System - the brusher will extend out an arm and brush your teeth for you. Optional features include a gentle flosser and mouthwash injection system.

Hand dryer - Sure, there are automatic hand dryers in public restrooms, but they are loud, hot, and impersonal. This one will use a fresh, soft fluffy towel. Insert your hands and it will gently rub them dry.

Water temperature - Not too hot, not too cold. The bathroom of the future will not only have hot water immediately available (no waiting for the cold to rush out, or washing with cold because you're in a rush), it will remember the exact temperature you like (using the Occupant Recognition System) so you will never have to adjust the faucet knobs again.

Hygiene reminders - If it's been a while since you brushed your teeth, or if you're about to leave without washing your hands, the system will know. Think of it like a private, benevolent Big Brother. A polite voice will suggest you go back and finish grooming yourself. If you have done some really dirty deeds in the bathroom, this part of the system will have an automatic locking feature that can refuse to let you out until you clean up.

The toilet paper - We'll get to the toilet itself in a minute, but the toilet paper issue is one that deserves specific attention. Oh, how the debate rages - in households and online - over that ever important, deep metaphysical question: should the roll go on with the paper coming over or under? By using the Occupant Recognition System, the toilet paper will flip to that person's preferred configuration. Sadly, hundreds of internet users will now have to find other completely unproductive ways to use their time since this debate will be obsolete.

The Throne - perhaps the most important core feature of tomorrow's bathroom. We're fairly certain they will have some of these exciting new features!

-Flat panel wall mounted control system - this will be the control center for all of the new features. It will be operable as a touch screen or, if you're not all that into touching things like that in a bathroom, voice controlled.

-Full library of reading material - access the internet or read any book or magazine on that flat panel display.

-Bidet feature with personal temperature settings - pick your water temperature from "Refreshingly Icy" to "Scald The Germs Away"

-Automatic seat lowering system - in addition to being a totally cool feature, we estimate this new technology will be responsible for a forty percent drop in the nation's divorce rate

Self Cleaning - Who wants to actually clean their fancy futuristic bathroom? This baby will clean itself. Once an occupant leaves, it will scrub down and polish all the surfaces while applying industrial strength disinfectant and a light perfumed air freshener.

Bathroom Accidents

Designed by Gary - just for a laugh.